How a Wooden Kayak Made Me a Better Therapist
By Kate Roberts, LMHC — Self Space Therapist
Did you know my dad built me a wooden kayak? Probably not. Yep, he taught himself through books and YouTube videos, figuring it out piece by piece. I use it frequently, taking it out onto the Puget Sound to just turn it all off. My dad gave me a gift, and it’s more than just a boat.
When I’m on the water, I let myself float. It’s quiet and empty. I can hear the water slap against the side. The crows in the trees on the shore. The seagulls barking overhead. And sometimes I hear a fish jump or a seal break the surface with a splash.
What does kayaking have to do with therapy?
When I’m on the water, I prefer to have no agenda. This is my respite from the to-do list, from the constant pressure to make something productive out of it. I’m not picking a spot down the way and timing myself. I’m not trying to achieve anything or “make it count.”
And that feels weirdly radical right now.
I see the same thing happen in therapy. There’s this subtle pressure people carry to show up with a plan—to be efficient with their healing and to make therapy “worth it.” I feel this too—as both a therapist and a client! And I think it’s totally understandable in a culture that worships productivity.
Some of the best sessions start with “I don’t know.”
Can therapy work without a clear goal?
You don’t have to arrive with a list of objectives. You don’t have to steer the whole time. It’s okay to just be. Some of the most meaningful sessions begin with, “I don’t know what to talk about today.”
There’s so much language online now—diagnostic terms, healing frameworks, trauma vocab. We’re drowning in it. And while it can be helpful, it also creates a sense that we need to come in with a diagnosis, a treatment plan, and a progress tracker.
But therapy, like kayaking, doesn’t always need a goal to be worthwhile. Sometimes, it’s just about showing up and floating. Letting what’s underneath rise in its own time. Noticing the ripples. Trusting that something is happening, even if you’re not pushing for it.
How do stillness and space support mental health?
The messy work of healing isn’t something you can force. It comes when there’s space. When it’s quiet. Not from tracking your progress by the minute, but from noticing what quietly shows up when you stop trying to control the tide.
Therapy without an agenda can be a powerful space to reconnect with yourself—especially for those navigating anxiety, relationship changes, or the pressures of perfectionism. Whether you’re facing a life transition or just feeling stuck, space to float can sometimes be exactly what the nervous system needs.
Thanks for reading!
-Kate (connect with me here)