What is Prepare/Enrich Premarital Therapy? Part III
Once couples begin to feel comfortable with their enhanced skills of communication, along with their new tools of managing stress and conflict, the nature of premarital therapy shifts. Now that the basic building blocks have been set, the couple is allowed a space in which they can enrich their relationship, and enhance the strengths that they already possess. In this final phase of premarital work, the therapist guides the couple in developing a more balanced relationship, and maximizing teamwork.
More tangibly put, developing a more balanced relationship can look like identifying and processing expectations, as well as delving into each partner’s’ respective relationships to their family of origin. This portion of therapy is often very rich with insight and serves as an opportunity to connect with one’s partner. This is typically the phase of therapy where couples get the chance to talk about what they loved in their upbringing, what they didn’t love so much, and most importantly, how they’re wanting to do things differently in the future.
Maximizing teamwork is often an intervention that is woven throughout the entire process of therapy. After all, it takes true effort and determination as a team to work through conflict and have difficult conversations. Even more generally put, teamwork is integral in any relationship. In the final stages of therapy, teamwork can be maximized in more directive ways as couples discuss future goals, expectations, sex and affection, financial management, the possibility of children and parenting, and so much more…
We often enter into new relationships with others knowing how to do our own personal family dance very well… and it’s almost always the case that our partner’s dance is entirely different. Try to imagine doing the tango while another person is trying to break dance alongside you… In this case, premarital therapy is like an open dance floor. It gives us the opportunity to slow things down, watch, learn, and to choreograph a brand new dance of the couples choosing. What a gift! Does it mean that we will be stepping on each other’s toes every now and again? Of course! We’re learning a new dance. However, this dance will be all yours – this is a dance that you will have worked so hard to learn and memorize, and one that you will refer to for the rest of your lives together.