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Dealing with Social Anxiety During the Holidays

Dealing with social anxiety during the holidays can be challenging, as festive gatherings often involve larger groups and increased social interaction. However, there are strategies you can employ to cope with social anxiety during the holiday season and beyond.

Plan Ahead

Prepare for the event by knowing the date, time, location, and attendees. Having this information can help reduce uncertainty and anxiety. You may want to arrive early so you can gradually acclimate to the social environment before it gets too crowded.

Set Realistic Expectations

Understand that not every social interaction needs to be flawless. It's okay to have some awkward moments or to not connect with everyone at the event. You may feel more comfortable seeking out smaller groups or one-on-one conversations.

Practice Self-Care

Prioritize self-care in the days leading up to the event. Look for opportunities for nourishment and be gentle with yourself as you engage in intuitive self-care that feels good and makes sense to you.

Bring a Friend or Supportive Person

If possible, attend the gathering with a trusted friend or family member who understands your anxiety and can provide support.

Focus on Listening

Instead of worrying about what to say, focus on being a good listener. Ask questions and show genuine interest in others. This can take the pressure off you to come up with conversation topics.

Challenge Negative Self-Talk

Try replacing negative thoughts and self-criticism with positive and affirming self-talk. Remind yourself that most people are not scrutinizing your every word and action and that social interactions don't define your worth.

Take Breaks

It's okay to step away for a few minutes if you start feeling overwhelmed. Find a quiet spot to regroup, take some deep breaths, and calm your nerves.

Avoid Overindulging in Alcohol or Caffeine

While a drink or two might help you relax, excessive alcohol or caffeine can worsen anxiety. Make sure you consume these substances in moderation.

Create an Exit Plan

Knowing you have an exit plan in place can provide a sense of control. Let a trusted person know you might need to leave early, or drive yourself to the event if possible.

Seek Professional Help

If social anxiety significantly impacts your life, reach out to a mental health professional. You are not alone, and effective treatment to help you manage social anxiety is available.

Remember that it's okay to prioritize your mental health during the holidays. You don't have to attend every event or push yourself too hard. Choose the gatherings that matter most to you and use these strategies to make the experience more manageable. Over time, with practice, your social anxiety may become more manageable, allowing you to enjoy the holiday season more fully.


Lily Gordon is a Self Space therapist who works with people navigating grief, loss, anxiety, the effects of trauma, life transitions, and relationship difficulties. She can help you move through difficult times and toward a more authentic and fulfilling life.